lmao I'm on a roll, posting two days in a row.

But auuuugh. Sh*bigi was talking about Post-Modernist art, Modernist art and Classical art the other day in CCS, and. Well she mentioned that we were all technically Post-Modernists, since we're born in this era; anything goes in Post-Modernism, anything can be art and anyone can be an artist.

I wish that was true. I don't feel very Post-Modernist. I mean well, obviously there's a lot of art I don't like, but nevertheless will acknowledge as so because of my Post-Modernist surroundings. Going through a PM school like L*****e conditions us to accept all forms of art. It doesn't necessarily teach us to be PM in our work though, and therein I think, my problem lies.

Tbh I'm having a lot of trouble with drawing class now, because we're required to use materials to layer into compositions and drawings, but I-- kind of dislike it after a while. I realize the point is to open our minds to the possibilities of materials, of how paint and pastel and charcoal interacts with plastic, foam and rice paper, but I can't stand it. I want to learn about colour theory, how glazing works, how to build up colour and value and form, not create compositions with paper and bubble wrap, even though I know it's going to be of help in the long run (seeing as I never really venture out of my comfort zone).

Just. Ugh. Frustrated. I want to do more of what they do on ConceptArt, and not so much on avant garde explorations.


edit: I don't even know why not being Post-Modernist enough can upset me. wtf Fiona.

But. I don't know, I wish I was more PM in my thoughts. In my art. I feel like I'm so restricted, but at the same time, I reject it. Does that even make any sense? Feeling guilty because one does not accept an art movement? Fucking ridiculous, that's what it is.

Also I really hate hypocritical people who don't dare to admit or have the insight to admit they're being hypocritical.

Case study: my dad. It's so hard to remember the good he does when all the bad stares me in the fucking face.

And god I need to stop whinging about my dad, this is getting to be old. But the likeliness of me stopping all this whining is as good as seeing a neon purple moon tomorrow night.

Art dump time~ Some FMA sketches I did in between homework. |D x-posted to the fma comm.

( click me click me >: )

Open post for Christmas art/fics! Throw whatever prompts you like at me. I might take a while though, so you'll probably get a belated Xmas gift. >:

So far it's:
Jesi- a drawing of Manakel and Elijah.
Janice- Nick/Ellis.
Claire- Hyacinthus/Apollo

Will update list as people comment/request. EDIT: PEOPLE YOU CAN GIVE A PROMPT TOO, IF YOU WANT. MAKES IT EASIER.

ALSO LOCAL PEOPLE, YOUR ADDRESSES PLEASE.

When I was younger, I was terrified of things like dinosaurs and haunted mansions and wax figures. In primary 5, there was a dinosaur exhibit, and my teacher had to hold my hand as we walked through it while I tried not to cry. Even today, I'm still fucking terrified of haunted mansions and wax figures and stuffed animals. If you ask me to go into a natural museum, I'd rather kill something.

So now, I'm wondering what the fuck I'm doing as a tour guide for H**wood D*os.

There's going to be headless people, skeletons, claustrophobic sequences and dinosaurs that chase you. I'm going to have lead people through the cave.

Seriously, just... how the fuck. /cowers

Edited because apparently people can now find my blog through HD searchwords wtf

Durhur meme from Kaya. :D

1. Comment to this entry saying "ICONS!" and I will pick 6 of your icons.
2. Make an entry in your own journal and talk about the icons I picked!


I was looking for Sasuke icons for an rp account, when I came across this. Their expressions are so cute, so I koped it. TwT And it makes for a good "... uh huh. Bitch pls" icon.


Alex Pettyfer, in a shoot with Kai Z Feng (one of the really popular celebrity photographers I think). |D He's so pretty!


Ahhhh, just look at him pout, socutedamnit. This is a young Bjorn Andresen, circa the 1970s, and he was called the most beautiful boy. It's not hard to guess why he had that nickname. ;D


Errrr I just wanted an 8059 icon? :D And TYL for the win! I've always thought Amano's set up a really good premise for fic writing. :B Not that I don't love canon for all its crazy crack.


I'm not really a fan of 5927 but-- LOOK AT THIS FACE. T____T It's so heartbreakingly honest and devoted.


Charmaine Sheh is one of my favourite actors (but then I fangirl a lot of TVB actors), and this is from Word Twisters' Adventures (铁嘴银牙）, which is a series about litigation and the first female litigator in Qing Dynasty China. She's so cute! ♥

Sometimes I really really hate what my extended family is capable of doing. The wake is just barely over, and already all the crap is starting up.

( Fuck you all )

Went out with Qing and got like a whole crapload of books. Now I realize where all my money each month goes to. /sob And plus the books I got today at the airport, I've spent $95 on books alone this week! DDD: NO MORE BUYING, FIONA.

( Oh my god, Ariel Levy <33 aka feminist writings )

Everything last night was a dizzying mix of lightning fast happenings and long, indeterminable waits.

( Goodbye. And lots of funeral-related tl;dr )

... You know what, I just remembered why I hate teaching little eleven year old boys who've just discovered profanities.

They come up to me and say things like "he said the eff word! D:" and "You know you know, our teacher watched this adult show where they said the eff word! *o*" (the 'adult' show in question was E.R.).

And I hate it because I feel like a fucking hypocrite. On one hand, they're all like "why can't we say the eff word? Why's it so bad? :O", and on the other hand...

Mind: Actually, who the hell cares? I sure as fuck don't.
Mouth: ... Because they don't want you to grow up to be rude.

ORZ ORZ ORZ ORZ

I'm never going to teach primary schoolers EVER AGAIN. NEVER. ON MY LIFE.

Two days ago, I went to the hospital after my dad said my grandmother had a stroke. For some reason, I was oddly apathetic, the way I was after I first heard she had liver cancer. My mother said something along the lines of 'she's old, it's not unexpected that she will be sick and that she will die'; it might sound cruel, but I agreed anyway, because it's true. Better to accept your mortality than to think like a stupid teenager and think you'll live forever.

But when I walked in the door, I almost stopped right on the spot. From that angle, my grandmother was so thin. I saw her a week before that hospital visit, and while haggard then, she had not looked that bad. Now, on the hospital bed, she was a bad caricature. Only my sister moving forward kept me moving too. On the other side, she didn't look that bad, I guess, but then I realized that she was half paralysed from her stroke. She couldn't move her left side much. Through the mask, I kind of vaguely noticed that my breathing had sped up, but I couldn't give a reason why, until I felt the tears gathering. Trust me to not even know I was so close to crying.

How can a person go from mobility to paralysis in so short a time? It's so surreal. We stayed by her side for a while, but she was a little delirious, maybe from the fever. She kept calling our names, Michelle and I, the nicknames that I'm pretty sure won't be heard in a couple of years' time now. We couldn't catch what she was saying though, because even speaking seemed to be so labourious for her, until my aunt got her to repeat it a couple of times.

Turns out she was accusing us of not picking up her phone calls. I had to turn my face away. The funny thing is, there were no phone calls in the first place. Later in the car, my sister said she'd called just a day earlier to make sure she was taking her supplements, but when my grandmother picked up the phone, she didn't seem to know what was happening, and kept asking my sister who she was.

Then today, my father came back with the news that her condition has worsened. She's almost completely paralysed on her left side now. Liver cancer isn't looking too good. We're going to go over a couple of times a week, mostly my sister, but I'll go after school to accompany her until eight or so, I guess.

I wonder if the visits will be a slow process of watching her die. I'm terrified. But at the same time, I'm all-- numb. Apathetic. I don't know how to explain it.

And added to this shit is my tuition class. One of the boys has taken it into his head to test my patience with insults and bigotry. Four weeks left to go. I'm going to cave in and yell at him one of these days.

This is going to sound so cliched, but-- god. I want to slap hypocrites so bad.

If you don't like me, don't act all buddy-buddy on me. Burn your bridges if you have to, don't bother to keep them intact because they'll be broken sooner or later anyway. If I'm openly rude to you already, seriously, why bother? You already know I don't like you, so just fuck off.

And the sad thing is, I was actually prepared to try and be decent if I ever saw you around. After this little bit of news? Die in a ditch. 8)


Edit: Has anyone seen Ris Low's interview on RazorTV? GOD, if I didn't know it was real, I would have thought she was trolling the interviewer! Who the fuck actually talks like Barbarella from The Noose? Janice already posted it, but those not on her flist, I'M INFLICTING IT ON YOU TOO. 8DD



Oh man, I love the subtitles. 8D I managed to get my class to watch it too, hurhur, and my lecturer was so horrified afterwards. Thassright, I'm good. 8)

Sunday was a miracle: they actually talked without sniping.

Thursday night was probably what did it, but I'm still amazed. Long story short, I was a selfish, pissy bitch, but for once karma seemed to have taken pity on me, and actually rewarded me with some peace in the house.

I feel gold.

Now if only I could get myself to work harder at school. I'm slipping back into bad habits. >:

Uhh-- if anyone of you smsed me on my old phone number-- I'll probably not get it hahaha u_u;;;; But I'm getting it back on Thursday, so! \o

( wishlist )

( 2nd day of school )

This is the second post in like what, an hour, but wdv idrc. =w= COSFEST REPORT.

( Day One )

( Day 2 )

So anyway, that was basically Cosfest weekend. The next day I crawled out of bed to go meet Jessie and Maki for a dollmeet that wasn't really a dollmeet. Spent some money at Kino's (which I shouldn't have) and learnt how to play Pimp! at MacDonald's. I LOVE MY MADAM MOONPIE. But I kept losing. orz Then there was the casual shoot the next day at Lasalle where we played that too, and I LOST AGAIN. I have the worst luck with that game, but it's so much fun. ;_;

Casual shoot was pretty fun~ I think the waiters there wanted us OUT though, cos we were monopolizing the whole of the lower level at the cafe, haha. At least there wasn't really anyone around. I cut my wig for England too short though, so I'll have to get a new one. :/

I love how Xiaobai's idea for Romano involves *skin-tight clothing~*. 8D RIGHT 老大? SO GAY~

In points for the shoot:
- England tried to teach Canada and America how to dance. Failed miserably with a broken toe to go with it.
- The Italian brothers tried to SIESTA~~ everyone by pulling their clothes off.
- France macked on everyone as usual.
- Lili got macked on, but has the assurance of Switzerland's VENGEANCE.
- Denmark and Norway had their Eurovision moment of epicness.

... I think that's it for the last few days. God I'm tired.

( Some photos from casual shoot )

Also. TURKEY ROAST. I heard someone say that character designs for Mama Greece and Mama Egypt are floating around somewhere. WHEN ARE WE DOING THIS? 8)

I don't know why I wrote this. 8| It'd be crack if it wasn't such an angstfest. Anyhoo, Olga (or at least, that's what I remember her name to be) is from a Russian novel titled "A Soldier's Daughter". Unfortunately I read it some time back and I don't remember names too clearly. I can't find any links to it either. :/

The main story of ASD is that a soldier returns from war, disillusioned and unhappy. His wife dies of shrapnel embedded in her side, and his daughter becomes a whore for the Union, trading her body for state secrets. However, in the later part of the novel, the soldier dies and the daughter wonders what it is all for. She gives up her job and collects her father's body, determined to start a new life after she had buried him.

Ivan Braginski is the personification of Russia, from the comic Hetalia. The on-going story with him is that he's been driven crazy by constant war and strife, which is pretty damn sad because all he wants is to be happy and surrounded by his sunflowers and vodka. >:


( Violet eyes and sunflowers )

http://talkback.stomp.com.sg/forums/showthread.php?t=71436

... I have no words for this. No words. I think I haven't laughed this hard in a while. Oh Singaporeans. I love how almost everyone (I'm on page 3 so far) is all like "oh my god that sounds awesome, and you have really good English", except in typical abbreviations and whatever else people usually type in.

Come to think of it, this is probably why I've heard so many people saying that Twilight is brilliantly written.

I have to blame the education system for this, because in secondary school? EVERYONE was fucking made to write purple prose. Just so we have flowery phrases and bombastic words to bump up our marks.

Also, this thread is totally misogynistic, y/n? It's a very hidden sort of misogyny though, because at first glance all you see is the praise of women.

Yes, the TS is praising women, but it is in an intolerably contemptuous way. The woman has a degree, so what? She is the ideal of what a man thinks a woman should be. Beautiful, intelligent, strong (but when she's around her man, she shows her sweetly submissive side).

I don't know about the majority of Singaporean guys, but I do know that a number of them have said things like, "I like her to be strong, but be submissive when she's around me, like, she'd leave decisions to me and be happy" and etc. 外面做个女强人，家里是个小女人。 What kind of bullshit is this?

The way the TS goes on and on with his false modesty and misogyny is just-- I don't even know what to say. I'll just stick to laughing at his godawful language.


Edit: ... Someone just called him the modern Shakespeare. Head, meet wall. The wall is your new friend. Say hi.

I'm going to do something stupid and maybe I will regret this or maybe I won't. But I'm not submitting my concept to Ignite after all.

This is from their submission form:
"The following depictions and/or written descriptions are not allowed:

• Scenes involving explicit love-making and full frontal nudity;
• Portrayals of homosexuality, bi-sexualism, paedophilia, incest and depictions which justify, promote or glamourise such habits and lifestyles;
• Excessive violence such as brutal killings, torture, cruelty, rape and prolonged gory and bloody fight sequences;
• Drug abuse presented in favourable light;
• Stories that denigrate or satirise the sensitivities of any racial or religious group; inaccurate portrayal of beliefs or are proselytic in nature; and
• Words and gestures with obscene and vulgar connotations."

Offending part bolded. Do I need to say more?

Not allowing homosexuality and bisexuality to be depicted in such a mainstream type of anthology, I can understand, because hey, Singaporeans will be Singaporeans, and we are a bunch of homophobic, conservative idiots. But how can you put homosexuality and bisexuality in the same group as paedophilia and incest? What do you mean, justifying/glamourising/promoting homosexuality and bisexuality?

Whoever wrote that, you are a fucking moron.

On the other hand, I'm a fucking moron too, because if I get published in this anthology, there's a 5k grant or something to finish all 24 pages. Pffft.

I'm going to have to find other ways of publishing myself.

Back. I didn't get to go to Berjaya Times Square, so I didn't get the socks. Sorry, Kaya, Janice. I didn't get the DVDs either. But I got a packet of sugar-free gum.

( Entirely unamusing and depressing tl;dr )